By Kareeb Wellness · Published 1 June 2026

How to last longer in bed

Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual concern. It's also one of the most treatable. Here's what actually works.

If you're ejaculating sooner than you'd like — within a minute of penetration, or even before — you're not alone. Studies estimate that 30-40% of men experience premature ejaculation (PE) at some point. It's the most common male sexual dysfunction, more prevalent than erectile dysfunction, yet it's discussed far less.

The good news: PE is highly treatable. Behavioral techniques, pelvic floor training, topical treatments, and in some cases medication can all help. The key is understanding which approach fits your pattern.

What PE actually is

The medical definition: ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs within about one minute of penetration, with the inability to delay it, and causing distress or avoidance. But definitions matter less than your experience. If you feel you have no control over when you ejaculate and it bothers you or your partner, that's worth addressing — regardless of how many minutes pass.

PE is categorized into two types. Lifelong (primary) PE — you've always had it, since your first sexual experiences. This is often neurological: some men are simply wired with a faster ejaculatory reflex. Acquired (secondary) PE — you used to have good control, but something changed. This can be caused by prostate issues, thyroid problems, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, or relationship stress.

Behavioral techniques

Stop-start. Developed by Masters and Johnson in the 1970s. Stimulate yourself or receive stimulation until you feel you're approaching the point of no return. Stop all stimulation for 30-60 seconds until the sensation subsides. Resume. Repeat 3-4 times before allowing ejaculation. Over weeks of practice, you learn to recognize and manage the sensation of impending ejaculation.

Squeeze technique. Similar to stop-start, but when you feel close to ejaculation, you (or your partner) firmly squeeze the head of the penis where it meets the shaft for 10-20 seconds. This reduces arousal and delays ejaculation. The squeeze is firm — enough to feel pressure, not pain.

Master the edge. Used consistently, these techniques don't just help in the moment. They retrain your ejaculatory reflex over time. Many men find they need less active stopping after 8-12 weeks of practice.

Pelvic floor training

The pelvic floor muscles play a crucial role in ejaculation. When they're weak or poorly controlled, the ejaculatory reflex fires faster. Strengthening them — specifically the ability to consciously relax them — can significantly improve control.

Kegel exercises for men: Identify the pelvic floor muscles by stopping your urine stream mid-flow (don't do this regularly — it's just for identification). Once you know the muscles, practice holding for 5-10 seconds, then fully relaxing for 5-10 seconds. Do 10 reps, 3 times a day.

Reverse Kegels: Just as important as strengthening is learning to relax the pelvic floor. While doing a Kegel is a squeeze, a Reverse Kegel is a gentle downward push — like you're trying to pass gas or urinate. This relaxes the pelvic floor and can delay ejaculation. Practice both equally.

Progressive relaxation: Combine Kegel practice with diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale deeply into your belly, and on the exhale, consciously release any tension in your pelvic floor. This is especially useful during intimacy when anxiety tightens the pelvic floor unconsciously.

Topical treatments (delay sprays and wipes)

Over-the-counter delay products use mild anesthetics (lidocaine or benzocaine) to slightly reduce penile sensation, which can delay ejaculation. They're applied 5-15 minutes before intimacy and washed off or absorbed before intercourse so they don't numb your partner.

Products like Promescent, Stud 100, and Roman Extended Play Wipes are clinically tested and widely used. The key is getting the dose right — too little and it doesn't work, too much and you may have difficulty maintaining an erection. Start with the minimum recommended amount and adjust.

Condoms with benzocaine in the tip (like Durex Performa) are another option — they combine protection with mild desensitization.

Medical treatments

SSRIs (off-label). Certain antidepressants — particularly paroxetine, sertraline, and dapoxetine — have a well-documented side effect of delaying ejaculation. Dapoxetine (Priligy) is specifically approved for PE in many countries. These medications increase serotonin activity, which regulates the ejaculatory reflex. They're taken either daily or on-demand (1-3 hours before sex). Side effects can include nausea, dizziness, and fatigue. Never take SSRIs without a prescription — and never take someone else's.

Topical lidocaine/prilocaine creams. Prescription-strength numbing creams (EMLA cream) can be more effective than over-the-counter options. A doctor can guide dosing and application.

ED medication. If PE is secondary to erectile dysfunction, PDE5 inhibitors (sildenafil, tadalafil) often help by eliminating the urgency to ejaculate before losing the erection.

The psychological piece

PE creates a vicious cycle: you worry about finishing too quickly → the anxiety tenses your pelvic floor and speeds up your nervous system → you ejaculate faster → you worry more next time. The cycle can be interrupted at any point — behavioral techniques, pelvic floor work, or addressing the anxiety directly with mindfulness or therapy.

Performance anxiety is a common driver of acquired PE. If you find yourself watching the clock, monitoring your partner's response, or mentally rehearsing "don't come don't come don't come," you're in your head and out of your body. The same mindfulness practices that help performance anxiety — body scans, breath awareness, sensate focus — apply here.

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